Let's Wait Awhile

With the recent release of the Steve Harvey movie Think Like a Man a lot of people have been debating some of the topics that are brought up in his move based off relationship book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.  With that I posted my recent debate of the day to twitter, facebook and instagram to get some feed back and what people thought of one of Harvey's dating reals for women.  The 90 day rule. This rule basically states that a female should wait at least 90 days before giving up the "cookies" to the man in which she is dating.  Which led to my question "How long should two people date before having sex?"

When I posted this question I was thinking that I would get the usual 90 days, especially from females and the whole Steve Harvey book, but I ended up getting a wide range of answers that I was not expecting.  The answers ranged from a month to a year to wait until you all are married.

The waiting until marriage was not a shocker to me because a lot of females have the mindset and thought of waiting until marriage before having sex.  And honestly if that guy is the guy for you then he should not have a problem waiting until you all are married to have sex. In my mind that means he is truly thinking of a future with you and not thinking of lets see where this leads us.  He really feels that he can see himself with you for the rest of his life.  Ladies if you say I want to wait until marriage to have sex and he says that is fine with me we can wait, then he is a keeper and he respects you, is feeling you, and loves you enough to wait without attempting to pressure you into engaging in sexual intercourse.

Now on to my shocking answers, I received answers such as 6 months, a month, a year.  I had individuals that broke it down like it was a timeline.  One person stated that the first 3 months were to get to know each other and the next three months were to get to meet his friends and family, then once you've met the family you can then begin to have sexual intercourse.  In my opinion the timeline makes things difficult, relationships are not a timeline, not a schedule, you have to let things flow naturally.  What if he takes you to meet his family before your initial three months are up, then your timeline of six months is thrown out the window.  A gentleman involved in the debate said he waited for one year before having sexual intercourse with his mate but that relationship did not last as long as the relationship he had with a mate he had sexual intercourse with on the first night.  Which leads me to wonder to males base their means of having sex based off of what the female wants? But then again a lot of males state that they can tell what they can get out of a female and what they want from a female based off of the vibe of the female.

Although I had a wide range of answers, the most consistent answer I got besides the 90 day rule is that you can't put a time frame on that question because no two relationships are the same.  A lot stated it that it all depends on how well you know the person before you all started dating.  Like if you all were friends prior to deciding to try dating each other do you still wait that 90 days that is supposed to be used to get to know one another, do you jump right in, or do you wait until you all decide on where the new adventure you all are partaking in is worth the risk .  All depends on that relationship, that friendship, that bond you have with someone.  Some people bond faster than others, some take that 3 to 6 to 12 months to bond.

But whatever you do, don't rush into things it will only make things more difficult and sometimes will confuse your heart.  Make a decision and stick with it.  Be comfortable and secure in your skin and in the relationship before jumping in the bed with your partner.  So many females get caught up in thinking that the only way to get a guy, to keep a guy, to get a guy to decide to make you his girlfriend is to give up the "cookies".  Respect yourselves ladies and gents do not jump in to something you are not ready for especially sex with another individual, you will know when the time is right to engage in sexual intercourse with a person and it will be well worth the wait whether its a month, 3 months, 6 months, 12 months, or the night you get married.  Just know that all relationships are not the same, should not be treated the same, don't base your time frame for giving up the "cookies" based on something someone else said you should do, let things flow naturally.