Do you still believe in love?
I have never been the lovey dovey type, the girl that has had her wedding planned since the age of 3. Okay the age of 3 may be a little dramatic, but working in the wedding industry there are seriously some ladies that have been planning their "dream wedding" since they could utter the words I Love You! But hey, that's not me. I've had my fair share of heartbreak, and it seems like more heartbreak than love, but the only thing that keeps me from saying that I have given up on love is because the Bible states that God is love, and I will never give up on God because He would never give up on me. But to say that I had given up on the fairy tale ending is how I would put my take on love. My mother was always my life line, that one love that made the blow from another heartbreak seem less fatal. They say you can die from a broken heart, I just hope and pray that my demise is not due to a broken heart. But you know what's amazing, how you can have such negative experiences with relationships and love and yet still have hope in love. What's truly amazing is how an individual can come into your life unexpectedly and change your outlook on life.
I have experienced this unexpected change, where someone has come into my life and made me forget about all the past failures and heartbreaks. This person came along and made me realize that my heart had not beat in 8 years, that the last heart beat I felt was right before the call I got from my father to come open my apartment door at 7:00 in the morning. This person has made me believe in love again, made me remember the feeling of a heartbeat, brought me back to life at a time where I felt lost. It's crazy how you can go through life not knowing the damage your heart was in, going through life as if everything is okay not knowing that things weren't because you had conditioned yourself to turn off all emotions so that you hopefully no longer will feel all the pain your heart was in. I had not felt my heart beat in so long until this person came along that I did not know the feeling. The feeling felt unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and scary. It was a feeling that I knew deep down I had felt before but it had been so long since I felt it that it threw me for a loop. This person challenged everything about me, challenged me to be a better person, challenged me to consider the future, challenged the way that I looked at life, challenged me to let my walls down, challenged me to open up where I had closed off and shut everybody out. I remember just sitting one day, confused at all these feelings that were rushing back and hearing my mom simply whispering in my ear that it's love that you're feeling baby girl. It's simply amazing how one person can open your eyes to so much of life, so much that you had been missing, that can make make your heart beat again, make you feel alive again. Not sure how things will end up between me and this person, all I can simply say is thank God for their presence in my life. Who's to say what the future holds, all I can say is stay tuned and I ask you do you still believe in love?
I have experienced this unexpected change, where someone has come into my life and made me forget about all the past failures and heartbreaks. This person came along and made me realize that my heart had not beat in 8 years, that the last heart beat I felt was right before the call I got from my father to come open my apartment door at 7:00 in the morning. This person has made me believe in love again, made me remember the feeling of a heartbeat, brought me back to life at a time where I felt lost. It's crazy how you can go through life not knowing the damage your heart was in, going through life as if everything is okay not knowing that things weren't because you had conditioned yourself to turn off all emotions so that you hopefully no longer will feel all the pain your heart was in. I had not felt my heart beat in so long until this person came along that I did not know the feeling. The feeling felt unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and scary. It was a feeling that I knew deep down I had felt before but it had been so long since I felt it that it threw me for a loop. This person challenged everything about me, challenged me to be a better person, challenged me to consider the future, challenged the way that I looked at life, challenged me to let my walls down, challenged me to open up where I had closed off and shut everybody out. I remember just sitting one day, confused at all these feelings that were rushing back and hearing my mom simply whispering in my ear that it's love that you're feeling baby girl. It's simply amazing how one person can open your eyes to so much of life, so much that you had been missing, that can make make your heart beat again, make you feel alive again. Not sure how things will end up between me and this person, all I can simply say is thank God for their presence in my life. Who's to say what the future holds, all I can say is stay tuned and I ask you do you still believe in love?
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